LinkedListNYC sums up all the ways you suck at email


OK… it’s not ALL the ways - there are simply too many - but this is a great start… 

LinkedListNYC Issue #79: Email FAQ

Hi Listheads,

We’ve decided to share an email FAQ the List has compiled over many years of professional emailing. Rest assure that this FAQ was written by experts, and that every question is based on first-hand experience. [In other words, we couldn’t make this stuff up. -Ed.]

Email FAQ

  • No.

    Should I top post?

  • Should I respond to listserv digests, leaving everything quoted, and making no indication as to which message I’m responding to, with just the words, “Yeah, this is a good point”?

    No.

  • If I want to unsubscribe from a mailing list, should I email the list asking to be removed, maybe adding that I don’t even remember when I signed up for this list lol?

    No.

  • If someone else emails a list demanding to be removed, should I respond to the entire list and tell them they’re an idiot?

    No.

  • Should my signature include my company logo?

    No.

  • Should my signature include an overly broad confidentiality agreement that says if I sent you this message by accident you’re compelled under penalty of death to delete my email, find me, and, if I deem it necessary, go through a memory erasure surgery (at your expense) to make sure you don’t steal any of my awesome ideas, including my collaborative consumption social cataloging site with purchase intent that’s going to be bigger than Facebook?

    No.

  • Should my font be 18pt pink Comic Sans?

    No.

  • Can it be blue?

    No.

  • If I have a small amount of information to send people, like the time and location of a party, should I put it in a Word doc infected with a macro worm and send it as an attachment and put “See attached” in the email body?

    No.

  • If I want to start a new thread, should I reply to an old message to the list and change the subject, ensuring that the in-reply-to and references headers will be incorrectly set, and the threading in my recipients’ inboxes will be thoroughly fucked?

    No.

  • Should my vacation auto-responder reply and let everyone on the list know I’m out of the office skiing in Utah and won’t be able to get back to them until next Monday, every time someone sends a message to the list, including my auto-response?

    No.

  • If the point of my email is to ask a question, should I bury it in five paragraphs of text?

    No.

  • When emailing someone I don’t know, should I address them as “bro”?

    No.

  • If someone posts a job to a mailing list and I respond saying I’m interested, should we continue back and forth on list (but addressing only each other) arranging the best time and place for our interview and exchanging full contact info?

    No.

  • Is sending a LinkedIn connection request to a mailing list a good way to grow my professional network?

    No.

  • Should my question to a developer listserv include details about my ongoing divorce?

    No.

  • Should my email consist entirely of mixed metaphors, so I can really nail my message, hammer it home, and come out of the gate with my engines roaring ?

    No.

  • If someone forgets to BCC everyone on an email to 452 people, should I reply-all with the first thing that pops into my head?

    No.

  • I have access to a large number of email addresses. Should I opt them all into a mailing list and start sending unsolicited messages?

    No.

  • Is it ok if I omit the unsubscribe link?

    No.

  • Should I call my unsubscribe link “notification settings,” require people to log in to change them, and redirect to my homepage after log-in?

    No.

That’s all for this week. Next week’s List will be an advice column. Email your questions – on any subject, from Ruby to romance – here.

Peace out, cub scouts.

Nick & Dave